Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow
I crave the pain in watching you,
walk away-
You’re timeless in your value,
I’ve easily forgotten the day-
Once your silhouette dissipates,
I’m back to reality-
Deprived the cure of this cancerous place,
Walking back into a world of maladies-
Friend, family or women,
But those hours in your company, you become everything in that visit-
Stay for a while
The leave for the time being-
So my memory can paint in your smile,
While you see the pain in my eyes leaving.
Look me in the eyes
You act like you strong
But you know that you weak,
Your body will fold
You’re showing fatigue
Your conscience is toxic
Like a cobra that speaks
Be honest and stop it
Your hopes are too bleak
What do you see
It can’t be yourself
Don’t break your reflection
Keep your hands to yourself
You don’t deserve a chance and the plans
You demand, you damaged yourself
You’re less of a man
Seeking what isn’t yours
Paradoxically time has a limit
Your life is seepin’ through bleeding pores
Every wave is antagonistic to a cast away
Keeping you from reachin shores
Every goal is a hurdle
And I’m that obstacle keeping you from reaching yours
Every day is a new disguise
A new disgust you’ve never seen before
You’ve never had it all together
Look me in the eyes inside of the shattered pieces on the floor.
I wish we could talk just today
But your mom just hung up the phone
I didn’t know what to say
So I just hummed all alone
I kept the phone to my ear
I admit I was hurt
The silent tone was too clear
She made it all about her
I made mistakes, I’m not perfect
That’s why I’m not at home with ya
But she tries to hurt me on purpose
So I’m left lookin at pictures
She loves the power she has
To accept or deny
But Trey, I’m forever your dad
And son, grown men cry
If you ever feel empty
Don’t turn it to hate
Because that turns into envy
And love is too great
I’m not there like I want
But I’ll still grow and be better
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TREY
Hope you get my card and my letter
Today I can share your birthday with the worldMy lil man, I’m glad you weren’t a girl
My lil king, daddy loves you, crazy boy
My love is your throne, kick back on a La-Z boy
I love your laugh, you act just like me
Crazy, funny, wild and tough, just like me
Astronaut or president, just might be
But you’re already better than being ‘just like me’
You say you wanna get old to say bad words
I would take the blame but your genes are half hers
You’re already 5, lil man time flies
I got backstage passes to your limelight
Daddy’s away but it’s ok cuz your mother’s with ya
So eat the cake til the day I can cut it with ya
I missed the days I could snuggle under covers with ya
But I’ll spend today hoverin ya lovely pictures
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TREYVAN
Run away from the light
Lock me safe in the dark
Fall in love with my lies
Don’t pick my truth apart
You won’t like what you see
And I tend to agree
I don’t pretend to be me
Every second I flee
I want to blend with the breeze
But I end up debris…
Hurt- people, hurt people
But you said I made you feel good-
You’re so cerebral, so evil
I succumbed to the pain in knowledge once I’ve understood
You’re so lethal, a sewing needle
You reap what you sew, or soe, but so…
You’re so ego, your soul leaves you
but yet I’m still there in tow.