Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow
I have something to say!
my crass ass,
cracked the glass!
I’m not feeling your sound
we’re out of harmony
one of us
lacking the rhythm of the moment
my crass ass,
cracked the glass!
if you knew what you knew
would you stay in that knowing,
and what would you do with that knowledge?
or will your crass ass
crack the glass?!
how can I search for
what can not see me
when I can not see
that which I search for
is what I’ve lost
is it that,
the sparkles I adorn
secure me in darkness I trek?
or women I’m smitten
esteem the man in me vexed?
and places I dream
fulfill the foster child’s hex?
and the connections I’ve sought
are as shallow as texts?
moment to moment
I am any stranger’s guess
be it that the lost
tire from strain of conquest
for what is the state of my heart
and heredity of my fate
if my mind can never rest
as it fears silence
and the depth of breath
unsuccessfully
I chased you to Moon and back
traversing zero gravity
exploring parts unknown
rationalizing my own self-destruction
for gain of more insecurity
worth its weight in vanity
landing back time again
let down, confused
empty-handed
with a starving heart
until finally realizing
how far and long
I’ve traveled and wondered
outside of myself
then learning
that I am space
to which
the universe, the moon, and love
all reside
“Houston,
I’m finally coming back home,
for good.”
for an astronaut
is but a hopeless romantic
searching outside
for the very things held within
it was my projection
which made me wise
wise enough to know
that the mirror
made me ignorant
understanding the cast of my world
is just a reflection of me
gripped
by grappling gripes
grappling
gripes gripped
gripes
grappling my grip
there’s no grapes
worth whining over
for it is your own produce
aged over time
filling your cup with wine
as you drink the wisdom of Self
only the ignorant
and deceivers in tow
refuse the taste
of their own brew
how long
before my listeners, listen?
before my believers, believe?
before my circle encloses
and we act in unity
from nucleus
just as the unambiguous seed-
still becomes the tree
with many branches
as is known
in a blind world
it takes courage to see
how long
before you are reminded by me?